Porcelain god

Lysol toilet bowl cleaner. Barkeeper's Friend. Glass cooktop cleaner. The Works from the Dollar Tree. Iron Out, the fumes of which almost killed me.

Those are all things I used to try to get rid of the stains in our toilets, stains that we were included at no extra cost when we bought the house.

Yes, this is a clean toilet.














You can tell it's clean because the bowl under the water is sparkling clean.














The one thing I didn't try? A McHusband and some sandpaper. He was brave enough to reach into the toilet to feel the stains and guess what? They were 3-D stains, which meant they should be removable.

A little elbow grease and voila! A clean toilet that *gasp!* actually looks clean.














And with our 3rd Annual St. Patrick's Day Party right around the corner, the timing couldn't be better. Especially since there's a chance that the McHusband, I, or both of us might be getting up close and personal with the toilet come Sunday morning. :(














Those stains would just be adding insult to injury, staring back at us and mocking our inability to both hold our alcohol and perform simple household chores.

Hah! Take THAT, toilets!